Why We Kiss in Front of Our Kids

Why We Kiss In Front of Our Kids

Our wedding kiss was … ahem … awkward. It was a shy, quick peck that even our photographer couldn’t capture it. It was so unimpressive that some of our guests probably secretly held back some boos. I wouldn’t blame them if they did.

I do take responsibility for that forgetful smooch. I was so conscious and nervous about all these people looking at us that I kept telling my fiancé weeks before the big day to give me a quick kiss. Not that we would have a full-on make-out session, but I just didn’t want to make anyone to feel uncomfortable when we locked lips. I guess it was really me that felt uncomfortable.

Thankfully I’ve outgrown my aversion to public displays of affection, and kissing my husband feels as natural as breathing, especially in front of our children. Though people have varying degrees of comfortability with outward affection, I think it’s healthy for children to see appropriate physical affection between Mom & Dad.

And here are our reasons why.

To Be an Example of Love

Love defined can result in an endless list of answers, much of which probably don’t really accurate explain love. Children see things so much more simply. And before they get clouded with the confusion of what love is, we want to be their example of it.

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To Make Them Feel Safe

My parents have a strong marriage, but even the most devoted suffer through some fights and arguments. I remember, as a young girl, the feelings of anxiety and insecurity whenever I would hear my parents fight. And though our kids may have been witnesses to the mounting tension when my husband and I have had a disagreement, I hope that the physical affection we display provides them with an assurance that outweighs the worry that may have entered their minds.

To Show Them Our Commitment

Though our kiss at the altar was a bit lackluster, our vows clearly stated our resolve to remain committed to one another no matter what. Fast forward 12 years, when we kiss in front of our kids, we also want them to see those promises we made are being lived out before them.

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To Point Them to the One Who Keeps Us Together

Our outward affection points to an inward resolve to be devoted to one another as long as we live. But we want our children to understand even deeper than this, peeling the layers off that they would see this lifelong commitment between Mommy and Daddy is really held together by God. When my husband and I got married, we held on to the verse, “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). We only know how to love one another because we have received it from the very One who is called Love.

So the kisses that the kids love to giggle about, playfully saying, “Ewww, they’re kissing again!” … well, that’s just one small manifestation of that amazing love.

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16 thoughts on “Why We Kiss in Front of Our Kids

  1. I totally agree with you! Appropriate PDA between spouses can be good for kids to see. It sets an example for how to show love appropriate in a marriage.

  2. I absolutely love this article! My parents weren’t afraid to be affectionate at times in front of their kids and I plan on being the same way. I think it shows our children what marriage is supposed to look like. 🙂

    1. I understand that some people are less comfortable with outward affection. But kids are going to be exposed to the inappropriate kind, no matter how hard you try to protect them. Should they desire to be in a relationship when they’re older, we hope they would desire a committed Christ-centered marriage, and we hope it’s partly because we were able to set that example for them.

  3. This is wonderful! I fully agree with you. Affection in front of your kids is so important. Every day my son sees me kiss his daddy goodbye before work. It’s a small gesture but important for all the reasons you listed.

  4. I love this! I think it’s so important to be affectionate in front of your kids so they aren’t afraid to be affectionate. I also agree that it gives them comfort and stability in knowing their parents are happy together. Hugs are my favorite, so we always hug, and I want them to be comfortable if I try to hug them in public as they get older.

  5. I really love this article!!! It is so important to show children the love that their parents have for each other. It really is rare to see now-a-days anyway, and modeling what a love based in Christ looks like is the foundation to what they will one day look for.

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