I sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, filling out a questionnaire about my 2-year-old, who was happily playing in the “kiddie corner”.
Does your child eat at least 2 cups of fruits and vegetables a day? YES. Does your child kick a ball? YES. Does your child speak two-word sentences?
I hesitated. My pencil hovered over the check box, and slowly, I marked the box indicating “no.” In the quietness of that waiting room, I felt as though I would explode from the multitude of questions and concerns that raced through my mind.
Is there something wrong with my child because he’s not speaking in sentences yet? Is it a red flag that most of his talking is largely gibberish? Can’t he just be a late bloomer, and it won’t be long before he hits this milestone?
It was a typical well-child exam with our pediatrician but marked the beginning of a journey that we are still on today, taking us to countless evaluations, assessments, speech pathologists, child development experts, doctors, and specialists.
I wish I could tell you I was unwavering in my resolve to care for my child with special needs.
Truth is I am sometimes plagued with doubts, fears, depression, and thoughts of failing as a mom.
What keeps me standing firm in the midst of a lot of uncertainty is God Himself and the lessons He has taught me from this experience of being a mom of a child with special needs.
There Will Always Be Questions
The first diagnosis we received was that our child had severe language delays (Mixed Expressive Receptive Language Disorder), but as he continued to stall in his development, questions only increased. The gap between him and his peers widened. Later, he was diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder.
But these labels don’t eliminate the questions and concerns. Rather, we realized how much more we need to seek answers, find help, and most importantly, get on our knees to pray.
A Parent Still Knows Best
We’ve seen many so-called experts, and though they may have a lot of knowledge in their fields, we are truly the experts when it comes to our child. We have taken some of the helpful information from doctors and specialists, but it is up to us to determine exactly how best to apply them in all the particulars of our child.
My Child is Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
I have sought to know and understand my child deeper than I would ever imagine. But still, there is none who is more intimately acquainted with him and all his ways than the One who created him. God didn’t overlook him or make a mistake. He doesn’t consider him unimportant or love him less. My child is God’s creation, “knitted together” and “intricately woven” by His hands (Psalm 139:13-15).
Though, in my humanness, I will occasionally ask the all-too-familiar question, “Why God?”, I am always brought to my knees with the same peaceful answer that surpasses all comprehension.
My child was made for my good and God’s glory!