10 Ways to Ignite Your Marriage (After Having Kids)

wedding ceremony me put ring on russ closeup

A woman’s passion for her husband can diminish after children enter into the picture. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Plan a date night

Pick up the phone and make those restaurant reservations yourself instead of trying to send those mind signals that you want some alone time with him.

Make a special dinner

If going out is just too far-reaching, then make dinner extra special. Feed the kids ahead of time and let them have a movie night while you and your beloved enjoy a candlelit dinner “alone”.

Pasta, bread, wine

Wear something he likes

I possess articles of clothing that I know my husband would rather see burn in a fire. Since I’m usually home all day, I figure who cares what I’m wearing? But at the very least, I can change into clothes that I know he likes before he gets home from work.

Fix yourself up

I don’t normally wear a lot of makeup, but I can, at least, shower and brush my hair for my husband. In other words, try not to look like that haggard mom, who has been chasing around her kids all day (even though that’s probably true).

Find babysitters

Wouldn’t it be great if you can get someone to watch your kids even before your hubby comes home from work? Imagine how quiet the house would be when he walked in! He’ll think he stepped right into the Twilight Zone!


Shorten his to do list

Does your husband have a “Honey, Do” list? Why not take one or two things off his list? My husband typically takes out the garbage, but there’s no rule that I can’t do it either.

Shorten your to do list

If your endless to-do list is getting in the way of spending quality time with your spouse, perhaps it’s time to reassess. Save some of your tasks for another day.

Send him a love note

There are many ways to send messages nowadays that we really have no excuse. Tell him why you love him or how you appreciate something he did or just get flirty.

love note / nota de amor

Recall your love story

A good love story isn’t just found in books and movies. Your own love story is probably way better than the latest chick flick. Spend some time reflecting on this (look through pictures or old love letters if it helps), and you may start swooning again when he walks into the room.

Initiate the intimacy

At the end of a day of cooking, cleaning, running errands, and the kids, the only thing on your mind is probably getting some needed sleep (and hoping your hubby will be just as tired). But you know what will really make him happy, right?? 😉

Do you have anything to add? What do you do to keep the flames of passion burning in your marriage?


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24 thoughts on “10 Ways to Ignite Your Marriage (After Having Kids)

  1. Love these tips! But I think our Valentine’s day is going to be a family day as always but IF my sister in law comes over and agrees to spend the night with the kids, my husband and I might slip out to grab a beer or two!

    1. Yeah, us too! It’s just too hard to get sitters since everyone else we know is also on the hunt for someone to watch their kids. Hope you get to have that time with your man!

  2. I’m trying to do better at the “dressing up” idea. It’s too easy to get stuck in the pj’s habit. Luckily, I have to get dressed the nights that I work, so I’m 50/50. But I do want to look cute the other days too.

    1. It is very easy to get stuck in that habit, especially when you’re home all day with the kids. I’m trying to do better with this too! 🙂

  3. After both having had a hard day we blow off steam by listening to music we enjoy. We always have dinner together after the kids are in bed during the week, being able to sit and have an adult conversation is such an important thing to do. We have learned along the way, these tips are great and I wish I read them 4 years ago!

    1. Never too late. Some of these are recent lessons for me … we’ve been married almost 12 years and have 4 kids. I suspect there is still much for me to learn in the years to come.

    1. Absolutely! When my husband & I have time to get away (even just for an evening), my kids get back a happier, more relaxed Mama!

    1. Yes, I think it’s so easy for young moms to get distracted from the cherishing, which was easier to do before kids. Thanks for visiting and for your comment!

  4. I love these ideas! As moms we can sometimes get caught up in our long to do lists, and its hard to transform into wife mode. I often find this hard to do when it comes to intimate time. Not because I’m not into my hubby, cause I so am 😉 lol but I just have a million things on my brain. Like you said, if my to do list is in the way, shorten it, always have to make your spouse feel like they come first. Great post! Thanks for sharing!! #shinebloghop

    1. Yeah, those to-do lists can really distract us mentally and we make excuses for not being “in the mood.” Thanks for reading!

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