“Why Does Her Life Seem So Perfect?”

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You have finally reached it: the end of a seemingly endless day when every obstacle imaginable dropped right in front of you. And right when your head is about to hit the pillow, you realize it was too soon to celebrate. “Mommy! I didn’t make it to the potty!”

This was me … on more than one occasion.

And when I looked around at other women I know, I began to wonder why I had been left out when perfect lives were being distributed.

Oh, I know it’s not true. Nobody has the perfect life. But when your world is looking pretty dreary, it sure seems like the sun is shining brighter on everyone else but you.

Has this happened to you? How do you keep yourself from such gloom?

Recount Your Blessings

There are blessings in your life. Really. Did you know that the Bible even tells us to “consider it all joy when you encounter various trials” (James 1:2)? When you begin to see how a trial is your teacher, how suffering produces strength, and how hardship brings hope, you will experience blessings.

Resolve to Find the Good

If you still find it hard to count your blessings, I challenge you to dig a little deeper. Find at least one thing good, no matter how small. The more you look for these little nuggets each day, you will realize you have filled a storehouse of priceless treasures.

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Reach Out to Others

Perhaps the life of the person next door seems so perfect because you have not actually stepped in her shoes, let alone stood outside her door. If we reach out to others, we can find those who can encourage us in our difficulties, but we may also learn that they’re not so perfect after all. Moreover, you will have gained a friend, who knows exactly what you’re going through and help you bear your burdens.

Realize You Need Both Sunshine and Rain

You may be in the midst of a storm, but one day, the sun will break through. And, you will see clearly enough to help out that person over there, who is now caught in a fierce gale. Don’t waste the lessons you are learning in your trials right now. You may have an opportunity to help someone else down the road.

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So before you start playing the comparison game, ask yourself what your definition is of the perfect life. You may think it is beyond your reach, but that mom, who seems to have it all together, does not possess it either. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, rejoice in what is in your grasp and make the most of it.

How do you keep yourself from getting caught in the comparison trap?

 

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21 thoughts on ““Why Does Her Life Seem So Perfect?”

  1. This is a great lesson. I think FB and all the professional photography pictures can make people’s lives seem perfect. However, I have realized that perfect appearances don’t add up to perfect lives. I try not to compare because everyone has their problems.

    1. “Perfect appearances don’t add up to perfect lives.” Excellent point. That’s true in how we perceive others, but also how we portray ourselves to the world. It’s a good question to ask ourselves if what we’re posting matches with what’s really going on.

  2. Great post. I agree with Melissa that it can be difficult when most people post just the positives on Facebook and other social media. I just try not to compare myself to anyone else and focus on all of the good things in my life. There certainly are plenty!

    1. Yeah, I think that’s why social media can be such a stumbling block when we forget that it’s just a snapshot of someone’s life.

  3. I love this post. Especially the part about resolving to find the good in your life. I think that is so immensely important. If we choose to focus only on the negative things that may happen in our lives, than that it what we will perceive our lives as. But if we make it our intention to focus on all the good things that happen in our lives, than we will surely be happier.

    1. We quickly forget the blessings when we focus too much on the difficulties. We have to be intentional in where we direct our thoughts.

    1. Yes, me too. It’s a struggle when things aren’t going so well, when I’ve felt like the worst mom or worst wife. It is so good, though, when God brings us back to His sufficient grace.

  4. I needed to be reminded of this tonight, so thank you! It is sometimes so easy to get discouraged and feel down and out and whenever that happens I have a talk with myself. I say at least 5 affirmations about myself or my life and it seems to help.

    1. One of my favorite quotes is my a preacher named Martyn Lloyd-Jones, “Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?”

  5. years ago I finally let go of caring what everyone else had or did… and my life has been so much better because of it. (it wasnt easy and i still have my moments) It is easy to fall into the trap thinking everyone has a perfect life, esp with social media. People can now control how they are perceived based on the pics they have on FB, etc. But the saying “comparison is the thief of all joy” is one I always remind myself of! 🙂

    1. Yes, it can be real easy to fall into that trap because of social media. We do the same … we’re gonna post the nicer photos, etc. It’s not like we take pictures of ourselves when we’re a mess. We do have to keep in mind that social media just gives a little window into someone’s life but doesn’t tell us the whole story.

  6. I found you from The Shine Blog Hop. I love this so much cause we all feel like this sometimes. You are so right, I have really found my best weapon to combat this feeling to count all of the good things in my life, no matter how seemingly small. Awesome post, thank you for the reminder ❤

    1. Thank you for visiting from the SHINE Blog Hop! It’s a fight for joy. Even when things are going well in our lives, it can be tempting to look at the person next to us and think they have it so much better. We need to commit to being thankful, right?

  7. Great tips for dealing with the “grass is greener” mentality. My husband and I long to own our own home, but timing just hasn’t worked out for us to do that yet. We find ourselves complaining about our little rent house from time to time, but the other day a friend came over and said “your house looks so big compared to our little apartment.” Ouch! Talk about a punch in the gut. I felt terrible because it is so easy to look at what others have, but there is always someone out there wishing they had what you have. You are right – we need to continually our blessings. They really are there!

    Thank you for linking up to the SHINE Blog Hop! 🙂

    1. That has happened to me too, when I become discontent with my house, God, in His perfect timing, brings someone to say, “I like your house.” A reminder for us to be thankful for the blessings in our lives!

  8. I so needed this today. I find myself falling into the comparison trap as well. There’s this one woman in particular on Facebook who always seems to have the best luck in life. She has the perfect job, perfect kids, and the money just flows so she can shop at the drop of a hat for whatever she wants at any given time: “I bought that! I have 2 of those!”. I had made a comment that I’m trying to sell my house but haven’t had any luck. Of course she chimes in with “oh I sold my house to the second person who saw it,and they paid cash”……why can I have her kind of luck …And money?it always seems to come up roses for her… As soon as I get myself together, I will start counting my blessings again. Right now I’m feeling a little blue and disconnected. And quite shortchanged
    😞

    1. Oh no! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know the feeling. I’ve had to intentionally stay away from Facebook because of struggles with my own emotions. We have to remember that social media posts are just snap shots, a small window into someone’s life, but doesn’t give the big picture. You may have more blessings than you think. If I recorded my whole day today and posted it, you would see there are a lot of messy moments. Praying for you!

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