5 Things Moms Should Never Expect After Their Time Away


Last year, I attended a women’s conference at my church. I was hesitant to go at first, feeling bad that my husband would have to take care of the kids the whole weekend. But, he knew I really needed this time away to recharge and get encouraged.

I had a wonderful time, catching up with friends I haven’t talked to in a long time, making new friends, and hearing from a great speaker, who taught on the theme of becoming a peacemaker.

Now I was ready to come back home to my loving family. Or was I?

Whether you’re coming back home from a church retreat, a bloggers’ conference, or even a moms’ night out, there are at least 5 things you should never expect when you get home.

Don’t expect the dishes to be clean

Or the floors to be swept or the toys to be put away, etc., etc. Yay for the husbands or babysitters, who can manage to keep up with house chores as well as with the kids! But don’t be surprised if cleaning is lower on the priority list for the sake of keeping your children alive.


Don’t expect your husband to follow the same routine

He’s going to do things differently. To the kids, Daddy’s way might be better (because Mommy can be strict sometimes). Maybe they’ll have pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Maybe they’ll play a little more video games than usual. Maybe they’ll do all the rough play that Mommy usually says no to. Let them have their special time with Daddy, even if things aren’t done the way you would do them.

Don’t expect the kids to be in bed

If you’re coming home in the evening, it would be nice if the kids are all soundly sleeping. You go to their rooms, gently pull the blanket over them, give them a soft kiss on the cheek, and whisper a prayer for them. Oh, such a peaceful scene! But, more than likely, they will be up past their bedtime, or if they are in bed, they are lying there awake, anticipating that you will be home soon.

Don’t expect your husband to be at his best

You may be excited to share with your husband all that happened from your time away. I’m sure he’s looking forward to hearing all about it, but let the man rest. You know how tiring it gets to take care of your kids all day. Even more so for someone who isn’t used to have so many consecutive hours with those little angels.

Don’t expect you have a break from being a mom

Sure, it was nice to get a little break from wiping noses and bottoms. It was nice not to think about what you need to make for dinner. It was nice to be exempt from chores for a day or two. But guess what? When you come back, you should be ready to be back, washing dirty little hands as well as dirty dishes.

After your time away, there is one thing though, that you should definitely expect and look forward to:

Lots of hugs and kisses!



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24 thoughts on “5 Things Moms Should Never Expect After Their Time Away

  1. This is an awesome post, Ai!
    Even though I’ve (of course) experienced time away by myself over the years, I’ve never really thought about how I respond when I come home, or the things I expected and shouldn’t have. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Thanks Valerie! Yeah, it was real convicting when that happened to me last year after that conference, especially since it was about making peace with others. Talk about applying what you learned right away!

  2. These are so true! I always want to be really loving and kind coming home to a house that’s a bit messier than I left it, sometimes I am, sometimes I am a little cranky. Your post is a great reminder that it is my attitude that makes the difference.

    1. Yeah, and it’s not that we should expect it to be messy. There are times when I’ve come home to an orderly house with all the kids in bed. But, like you said, it’s all about our attitude before we walk through the front door … that messy or not, we’re there to show love to our family.

  3. Haha. This is spot on! I have to remind myself not to be discouraged (annoyed?) when the house is a wreck when I get home. I try to remember the quote, “gratitude makes what I have enough”…If I am grateful for the time away, then I’m not holding any more expectations for getting home, I’m just thankful.

    1. I know, I have to constantly remind myself too. What an awful testimony when I get irritated at my family after coming home from a church conference!

  4. Great post! All is so true for my house too! Ha! I sometimes have to bite my tongue when the kids are having daddy time-he is definitely more lax than me! And I gave up on the kids being asleep when I get home at night long ago. My toddler is almost always still awake when we get home from date night.

    1. It’s a good lesson on flexibility. Those times are gonna be exceptions, and our kids won’t get messed up by a little change in routine now and then. Gotta remind myself of that all the time!

  5. These are so true. I especially have to work on my own expectations, because so often I think they kids will be in bed, and they aren’t, and then my frustration comes out on my already tired hubby. Definitely a great list. We all can adjust our expectations!!

    1. Lot of lessons learned from my past failures in this. Writing it all out was good for me to commit those lessons to memory. Thanks for hosting another great blog hop!

  6. Pingback: SHINE Blog Hop #16
  7. Yes yes to all of these. Although I will admit that when I come home and find the hubby in a bad mood, I can’t help but feel a bit miffed. Okay I mean, I know I can and should help it. . . but its really really hard! Because geez am I not allowed to have three or four hours to myself sometimes? So when I make sure to remind myself that when I get home he’ll probably be grumpy and I should IGNORE it, things tend to go better 🙂 Stopping by from the shine hop!

    1. Yeah, it is hard when that happens, but I try to be empathetic because I really do know exactly how it feels to have a rough time keeping the house and the kids from crumbling. You made a good point … that we have to remind ourselves of all the possibilities and the right attitudes to have before we walk through that door. Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope to continue to connect with you! 🙂

    1. Aww, thank you! That last part is the best thing about coming home anyway, pales in comparison to all the other stuff that we can complain about, right? Glad you came by! 🙂

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